What is a man?

It seems like genuinely good and kind men seem to be fewer and far between nowadays. Guys today appear to want to hold on to their childhood and play all the time. Where are the guys that want to grow up and commit to a woman and cleave to her the rest of their lives? Have a family? Leave the games, partying, and single life behind. We all have our teenage years and early 20s to get this out of systems. 

We supposedly live in a time where it's 'acceptable' for women to pursue men, but it sure doesn't seem that way. There have been a handful of times where I went after a guy and all it did was drive them away, whats a girl to do? Dating seems so daunting because I feel like I'm surrounded by guys who want nothing to do with a divorced woman. Guys my age seem to not exist, either. I already know I have to be OK with dating guys a few years younger than me or guys several years older than me, and I was not easily accepting of this. I also know that dating other divorced men is a possibility as well as them possibly having children, which makes me nervous. The thought of possibly being a step parent slightly terrifies me as I have not had the best step parent experiences in my life.

I guess the better question to ask is, what is a man, to me. I know what I want in a future mate, if it is meant to be anyway. I want a MAN who is unfailingly kind, who would never speak ill of those around him, who looks for the good in others and is humble, not selfish. Who honors honesty and loyalty as much as I do. Someone whose heart, mind, and soul is centered on Christ, who truly loves and honors their ability as an active exerciser and holder of the Priesthood, and loves me as much as they love the Gospel. Lastly, I want someone who is incredibly patient, because heaven knows I'm not! I know I'm a hand full and I need someone willing to put up with/be able to handle me because I'm not easy to deal with. Forgiveness kinda goes hand-in-hand with patience, right? They need to be a good forgiver, too.
No, this does not mean I'm ready to pursue a serious relationship, not right now anyway. I've just learned a lot about myself and my expectations in others over the last couple years. Plus, I already have this adorable duo in my life, I don't need a guy, right? ;)

 *sigh* I love them! D'artagnan is my "boy", my cuddle buddy and Gizmo is my "man", my rock. He has been for years. He's been there for me when no one else has, and yet I know he will not be with me forever. I need someone who will be my rock, who will be by my side no matter what. I believe we've all grown up learning family is, or at least is supposed to be, important. Family is important, but, things change. While I'd like to be with someone who is a family person, letting go of your family you grew up with (to an extent) is part of having your own family; they take precedence. I need to come first, and I want to feel like I am put first. I need to know he has my back. Sometimes the people that your spouse needs to defend you from, is either yours or his family, and trust that they will stand up for you. I hope to find someone respectful, understanding, and supportive of certain aspects of what makes me, me. I'm a hot head. I'm passionate about the things I love as well as things I take very seriously (like politics for example). My words are a great asset as well as a curse for me. When I get excited or upset, sometimes I need to take a step back and breathe for a minute. I need someone who can honor that. (Seriously, or I'll bite your head off.) I am fully aware that my love for horror and the macabre can be overwhelming. I need someone who can put up with it... I understand that the likelihood of me finding someone who loves creepy crap as much as I do, is basically slim to none; so to find someone who can tolerate that part of me is HUGE. Haunted houses and scary movies are my thing. Some people like cliff diving or roller coasters for their adrenaline rush, this is mine. It's also a way for me to release negative emotions and stress. My pets are the only creatures that keep me sane. Someone else who is as equally obsessed with animals as I am is more than welcome! But I somehow manage to be attracted to those who have cat and/or dog allergies, this is no bueno. I can't not have a dog in my life. Yes, I'm a dog person, but I still love cats, too. As important as it is for animals to be in my life is, the one interest that is most important to me, is music. Music has been such a blessing in my life, and I can't think of anything more beautiful than creating music and blessing the lives of others with someone that I'd be sealed to for time and all eternity. I'd love it if they were a singer, but being able to play the piano or another classical instrument (which TOTALLY makes me melt) would be more than welcome as well. I think the last thing that I would enjoy in a future spouse, is someone who makes me laugh. I've dealt with many hard and serious things in my life already and I'd like to spend the rest of my life laughing!

Overall, I want all around genuinely good and kind men in my life. I have some great examples in my life of what these men should be like, and I'm going to keep my standards high, even for friends. For who our friends are, are who we date, and who we date is who we marry, and who we marry become a parent to your children. I want an amazing Priesthood holder who can fill each of these roles and be blessing to more than just myself.